Fat Bloke Enjoys Baking Stuff

Having got some gin-soaked red berries for Christmas - and not wanting to have them fester at the back of the cupboard - I came up with this recipe for cake, that's an absolute winner. Ideally, you could do with a blender, but it's not absolutely imperative. Ingredients 200g butter 200g sugar 1/4 teaspoon salt 4 eggs 250g self-raising flour 1 teaspoon baking powder About 350-400g red fruit, such as raspberries or strawberries 1 Empty the fruit into a large jug, chopping any larger ones, so they're all roughly the same size, and cover with the spirit of your choice. Leave overnight. 2 Preheat your oven to 180C. 3 Pour the contents of the jug into a sieve. Do NOT throw the spirit away - drink it. It's now got fruit in it, so it's actually very good for you. 4 Put the butter and sugar in the blender and give it a good blast until they're well mixed together. 5 Add the eggs, one at a time, until you get a sloppy mess. 6 Now add the flour and bak

These wonderful little bites are particularly easy to bake, and there's a bit of leeway with regard to what you put in them, making it easy to introduce stuff your child (or wife) would turn their nose up - for example grated carrot, spring onions or shredded broccoli - or you could leave the chillies out. Ingredients 150g porridge oats 150g grated cheese 2 eggs salt, pepper 50g melted butter 3 finely chopped chillies Optional extras Grated carrot Finely chopped spring onions Mixed seeds (pumpkin, flax, chia, etc.) Anything else - use your imagination 1. Preheat oven to 180C 2. Put all the dry ingredients into a mixing bowl, along with any optional extras, and combine well 3. Stick butter in microwave for about 30 seconds or so, until melted 4. Add the eggs to the mixture and stir in well 5. Add the melted butter, then mix very well 6. Transfer the mixture to a 8"x8" baking tray, or a jam tart tray, and stick in the oven for around 30-35 minutes, until

These cookies are an absolute joy to eat and are the main reason people at work talk to me. Easy to make - and even easier to eat - they're well worth a try. Those of a softer disposition can choose to omit the chillies, but people will laugh at you. Ingredients 225g self raising flour 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda 2 teaspoons ground ginger 125g unsalted butter 100g light brown sugar (or, if you've none, normal sugar will do) 100g golden syrup 3-5 chillies, very finely chopped 1. Preheat oven to 160C and line two baking trays with greaseproofed paper 2. Put the flour, bicarb and spices into a bowl and mix well 3. Add the butter, cut into small pieces and rub it well into the flour until it resembles a crumbly mess 4. Add the sugar and syrup to it, then mix it well in - you may need to use your hands - until it binds into a dough 5. Taking about a generous teaspoon-sized amount at a time, roll them gently into balls, then place on the lined baking trays - nicely

Stuck for something to make your loved one? Have they run out of space on their Pandora charm bracelet? Worry not - these little charms will fill them with a love that cannot quite be put into words. Containing carbohydrates, fat, protein and extra vitamin B, you could live on these. And don't panic if they're not overkeen on Marmite - they'll convert even the most ardent hater. Ingredients 1 egg 200g sugar 60ml oil (cooking oil is best - engine oil tends to overpower the other flavours) 375g flour 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons baking powder 250ml milk 100g butter 3 or 4 teaspoons Marmite 200g grated cheese 1. Preheat oven to 180C 2. Stick the egg and sugar in a blender and mix well 3. Add the oil to this and do the same 4. Add the flour, salt, baking powder and milk to this and mix well 5. Stick the mixture into an 8"x8" silicon baking tray and put in the oven for 40 minutes 6. Put the butter and marmite into a cup and melt in the microwave.

Parkin isn't just for around bonfire night - it's a wholesome treat that can be enjoyed throughout the year. And chillies? Well, chillies enhance its flavour to a zen-like piquancy. Every time I make this, it goes very quickly. Quite a few ingredients, and takes a little while to do, but well worth it. Ingredients 110g self-raising flour 75g oats 110g soft brown sugar 110g butter 175g golden syrup 50g black treacle 3 teaspoons ground ginger 2-3 chillies,, finely chopped, according to how "piquant" you'd like it half a teaspoon ground cloves one egg, beaten 1. Preheat your oven to 140C 2. Put the treacle, golden syrup, sugar and butter into a pan and gently warm it. 3. Stick the flour, ginger, chillies, oats, ground cloves and a pinch of salt into a bowl and mix well. 4. When the stuff in the pans all dissolved, empty it into the dry tuff and make sure it's well mixed. 5. Add the beaten egg and, again, stir it well into the mixture. It shou

There's no part of that title I don't like. This little treat has gone down remarkably well at work, and is very easy, so enjoy. Just for your information, I made two batches. The first used Tesco's cheapest 70% dark chocolate but, at a cost of £1.15 a bar - and you need 5 bars - it pushes the price up quite a bit. On Sunday, I went to Morrison's and got 5 bars of their economy dark chocolate, at just 30p a bar. Honestly couldn't tell the difference. Ingredients 500g dark chocolate 75g unsalted butter 1 397g tin sweetened condensed milk 25ml vodka 1-2 chillies, finely chopped, depending on how hard you are 1. Melt the broken-up chocolate in a bowl, placed over a pan of simmering water 2. When that's all done, with no lumps, take it off the heat, add everything else and stir well until it's all incorporated. 3. Empty it all into an 8"x8" silicon baking tray, smoothing it out as much as possible. 4. When it's cool, score it into 1&